TBT: Blog Entry, Sunday, October 11, 2009

[Side note #1: I present this from my first blog, several years after I stopped writing regularly on it, without any rewrites, correcting the spelling or the grammar.]

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Fiction vs Non-fiction

Last night I had a dream and as is usual for me, I remembered a great bit of detail about this dream. For instance, I knew the two main characters in this dream (both girls) were both aspects of “me;” the me in “real life” (still idealized, of course, this was a dream) and I suppose the me that I wish to be, to be called “model me” (practically perfect in every way, except I knew that “real life” me didn’t like the other me). Go Freudian on that.

Anyway, I also knew that this dream took place around some sort of major seaside (vaguely European) city and near a school, perhaps a university of some sort. It was night and we were walking back to the dorms, she on her bike and me walking. It wasn’t too too late (perhaps evening), but the seedier elements of the city were starting to come out. Most just eyed us, but a few started to follow us, catcalling and whatnot.

Not the most significant part of the dream because I was not scared and did not care. Though, near the end of the dream one of these seedier elements forced the “model me” to hand over her backpack in exchange for a smaller backpack. No complaints from her, by the way. Again, what’s my subconscious, if anything, trying to tell me?

Anyway, the major focal point of the dream (and the one I vividly remember) was whether or not “I” was a better fiction writer or a non-fiction writer. Model me said I was a better fiction writer while the real me preferred to write non-fiction. I went on to say that it didn’t matter what genre I wrote in, but the fact that I should be writing everyday. (Thanks, subconscious. I’ve gotten THAT message loud and clear.) And that by writing everyday I will become a better writer…no matter which genre I eventually end up writing.

So, in my real waking life, I think I am a better non-fiction writer. I have over 50 journals that I have written in for 3/4 of my life. Also, let’s take into consideration the amount of writing that I am doing currently for graduate school. I am (marginally) more aware of how I write and what I write. I am writing about what matters to me (scholastically speaking) and I am more aware of my audience (whether it’s my professor or the occasional reader on my poor, poor blog.)

So, maybe I will take a cue from my subconscious and write more. Perhaps, not online, butsomewhere. And everyday, as my subconscious told (yelled) at me.

[Side note #2: Thoughts?]

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