[Side note #1: I curse in this post. If that’s not your thing, my apologies.]
As part of my job, I deal with people everyday, whether it’s over the phone or in person I must be a nice, pleasant person ready to help you with whatever question you have (no matter what I happen to think of the question). I must do this even if you are having a crappy day and decide to take it out on me. Luckily, I haven’t had to deal with many people who decide to take it out on me. But when it happens, I will become super attentive, listen, and try my damndest to answer your question right away.
Sometimes, my answering your question requires me to find someone else to answer that question – usually a manager or someone with clinical experience – and once that phone call has been passed on, you’d think I’d stop thinking about it. But no, I will ponder it and try to figure out if I could have done a better job or found the right person faster. A little self-flagellation, yes, but an honest and typical answer from me.
I don’t like dealing with people…well, I should say, I don’t like dealing with people that I don’t know. Complete strangers always make me a little uncomfortable. It takes me getting to know them before I can properly deal with them. (How on earth did an introvert like me get a job that has to deal with other people? Trust me, I don’t know either.) I should also point out that I am the one to give a new employee the orientation at work. Life sure has a funny sense of humor sometimes.
So, problem people. They are *everywhere* and quite possibly others might see you as a problem person. In my life there are several types of problem people: passive aggressive (of which, it can be said that I am that type of problem person); narcissists, and chronic complainers.
It’s said that in dealing with passive aggressive people that one has to acknowledge the behavior early on before it gets out of control. But really how many of us understand what’s going on before it gets to that point? Also, how many of us are willing to confront the other person? Yes, I know. But for me, that’s not how it goes. So, I will smile sweetly or (most likely) ignore the passive aggressive behavior and move on. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t. I try not to be passive aggressive but it happens and I’m very sorry about it.
Narcissists….oh, you fucking narcissists. You can admire yourselves and your “many” deeds over there. Away the fuck from me. *sigh* That’s mean. Let me try again. You’re not fooling anyone. Your attitude drives others away. *sigh* No, that’s not right either. This article in Psychology Today lists how to deal with a narcissist. Did you know that there’s more than one type? (Yeah, me!)
As for the chronic complainers, Lifehacker has some tips about dealing with those special little snowflakes of sunshine. I can do the nod and listen. I can even say that I sympathize but the redirect? I’ve never been able to do it…well, I shouldn’t say that I don’t know how, I should say that I’ve never actively tried it. I’ll have to try it.
Anyway, passive aggressive people, narcissists, and chronic complainers seem to worm their way into my life. How about you?