Untitled #14: Happy/Sad

I am surrounded by children as we speak.  I am either the unluckiest person in the world or the universe is just reminding me that my life is still pretty good. 

Either way it is June 12 and I was supposed to give birth today.

I’m not exactly sure how I feel.  Sad yes.  But happy?  If Tadpole had survived with whatever ailed him in the womb how long would he have lasted?  Our hearts would not have taken it.

I don’t know. 

I really don’t.

I don’t know what ultimately took Tadpole away from us (I’ll never know) but I am not without hope; without joy; without sadness. 

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