I must be some sort of digital hoarder. I save links, websites, and photos that I want to take a closer look at later. Sometimes, I get around to actually reading them, but most of the time I don’t seem to.
It’s better than cutting them out and saving them for later, I think.
But I’ve gone off track already. Typical of me.
Anyway, I came upon this article about being an introverted leader and it got me thinking about how many people in my life seem to give me the last say in things. It frustrates me from time to time because hell, I don’t want to make the decision all the time. What if someone doesn’t like what I decide? I want to give everyone a fair shake. But no, the decision (most of the time) falls on me. I’d like to point out that I make the decision because everyone seems to end up bickering or discussing options for far too long. I just want a decision made, damnit!
I can tell you that I end up feeling guilty about taking over the decision-making process. But I shrug and tell myself, if people wanted something else they would’ve said something, right?
(I sure hope so.)
LAF’s husband called me a secret boss once and it stuck in my head. It seems that everywhere I go people look up to me to make some sort of decision, to lead or guide them. I have no idea how it happened or why. I certainly don’t have the loudest of voices. A related story: during a grad school project one of my classmates told me that while I don’t speak much when I do, it’s not trivial but meaningful.
I don’t know about that but then again, I am a bad judge for myself (aren’t we all?) and don’t see what other people see about me. I don’t feel like a leader, though I know that sometimes leaders aren’t necessarily those who look like leaders but those people who others tend to follow. There’s a TED talk about leadership, hell probably a talk about introverted leadership. (I’d take a guess and say we listen more before speaking up and making that decision.)
But seriously, I’m not out to rule the world. I just really want to get shit done.