I’m Not Running a Race nor Do I Have my Shit Together.

Oh, my god. You’re so right, Eric, art isn’t a competition.

Who am I comparing my things to?  More importantly, why?  It only makes me unhappy and frustrated.  But yet, we all still compare ourselves with others, measuring our lives against others with those are measuring themselves against us.  It’s a wicked and vicious cycle.  Staying present in the moment is hard.

LAF also makes a good point in this post about how we don’t really talk about the awesome stuff that we *are* doing and getting our shit together.  We never want to be seen as humble bragging but in the end, who else is going to laud our accomplishments unless we do just a little bit of legwork from time to time?

Every year, I struggle with my performance review at work.  One of the questions essentially asks, what good did we do this year?  (Of course, it’s *not* phrased like this, but you know what I mean.)  I struggle to think of anything to write for this question and in reality I sure as hell did a lot of good this past fiscal year.  But because of my shyness or culture, I don’t brag about what I did.  It’s just not in my nature.

I may not write the best posts, color precisely in the lines or have *all* of my shit together.

Oh, my god, Charlie, you *are* all over the place.  Sorry.  See?  I don’t have my shit together.  But so many people at work consider me the go-to person to answer their questions.  I don’t understand but whatever, I’m just doing my job.  There you go, this is why I can never think of anything good to say about myself during my performance reviews.  Everything that I do is just part of my job….even if it’s not really part of my job.

Like LAF, my life is messy but it’s not a mess.  My life is complicated, but then again, so is everyone’s lives.

(Did I have a plan for this post?  Possibly.  Do I have it now?  Nope.)


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