I’m of two minds.
Well, I’m of two minds regarding most things. I try to see the other person’s point of view in everything. Sometimes, I am successful, but most of the time, I’m not. Such is.
When I left my parents last week, I gave her my bracelet that was engraved with the words be brave. I originally bought it for myself to support LGBT causes. I’ve since then branched out to have it stand for Fertility Issues and Diabetes. Now, it stands for my mom’s cancer fight.
I understand why my mom would want me to not worry about her. I completely understand this, I truly do. She doesn’t want to show weakness, vulnerability. Again, it’s something that I am familiar with. I am her daughter, after all. It is not unusual for friends to roll their eyes at me whenever I say something equally inane as “I don’t want to bother you.”
However, I am her only daughter and I am angry that I am being kept in the dark about what’s going on with her. I am probably angry that she probably ignored this for as long as she did. She’s a doctor, for Pete’s sake and she’s telling me to take care of myself? (By the way, I do take care of myself. I have no problem running towards the doctor whenever I don’t feel well. In fact, in spite of the Diabetes – or maybe because of it – I am in the best shape of my life. But I digress.)
But ultimately, all I can do is to be there for her and support her as best as I can. She’s an adult, who can make her own decisions and is facing a terrible and scary battle. So, I understand.
It doesn’t mean that I like it.